Moving day is looming like that black hair on your chin you just noticed is 2in long and glaring at you every time you look in the mirror - and, of course, you don't have your tweezers handy to get rid of it. I've been in that weird state of limbo since the thought first came up that I might have to move. I kept it together pretty well in the beginning. Or at least I convinced myself it wasn't really going to happen - because I said so, but in the back of my mind I knew that it was most likely inevitable. It would have taken a really great job or a miracle for me to not move back home. My initial denial lead to this eerie calm about going back. Honestly I wasn't sure what was going on because I kept waiting for the true freak out. Sure I would have twinges of pain over the thought of leaving, but no major meltdowns. I was afraid to pat myself on the back for having such an adult reaction.
I've been going through the motions of getting my stuff ready and I have the majority of my things all packed and waiting for the movers. Still no freak out. I feel like I should be impressed with myself, but I have to admit that waiting for the freak out to happen is almost worse than just having one. It exemplifies the state of limbo I've been living in for the past few months. I HATE limbo. I'm just ready to move on, literally, and get my life and world back on track. I'm finishing up packing my stuff for the movers tomorrow and trying to regain some of my focus for my studies.
Here's what packing looked like 2 weeks ago at the very beginning of the box-a-palooza
and after the very productive packing session with my wonderful friend Martina
and of course the lovely Martina helping me pack (Gideon would not leave her alone the entire time she was here!)
You don't need to have the freak out though. You have had enough time to accept that this move was going to happen and in accepting it, you are preparing for the next step rather than focusing on the past and what didnt work out this time. We can only learn from the backslides we have in life and that is all this is. You took 10 leaps forward and only a few tiny steps back. You are growing and learning from this experience which is why you are not freaking out. Don't plan for it or expect it and you will do great things!
ReplyDeleteThanks Cassi! Maybe the next time will be easier :)
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