One of the things I hate the most about being a commuter is the noise on the train. The older I get the more I rely on quiet to be able to focus and get my work done. In the morning I can usually manage to sit in the quiet car on Metra. The people who sit in that car know that if you sit there you have to be quiet. They are habitual commuters. These are the people who are responsible for the quiet car's creation.
In the evening, especially a small window of time between 3:30 and 5:00 p.m.. Today was my last day, for about a month, to go through my regular commute. I had gotten off to a rocky start by missing my normal train in the morning and had to drive to Barrington to get on the next express. Friday is a day I look forward to because I can sit in a quiet car on the way home. There are several days a week where I go home too early for the quiet car hours.
I had my last day of classes today and I should have been feeling wonderful and free, but instead I was anxious. Maybe it was an omen. When I got onto the 3:45 train and found my quiet car it was awfully loud. I never know whether or not to say anything at that point or wait until we get closer to departing the station. I should have said something at that point. I think if I had been in the car before the talking began I would have been more comfortable letting them know that this was a quiet car. Plus I really hate being the one who informs the other passengers (even though my gut churns when people are talking because all I want is for them to shut up).
Today I did say something. I said something and the three groups of two women kept on talking anyway all the while shooting me dirty looks. We start moving, the conductor announces that there are quiet cars on the train, and the women keep talking. I get fed up and say something again. More dirty looks. Then backtalk from the women. They were affronted because they thought I was being rude. I wasn't. I was just informing them of the rules of the quiet car.
To say it was a shit show is an understatement.
Here is what Metra says about the quiet car: "Metra Quiet Cars: To give passengers some peace and quiet during their commute, Metra has designated Quiet Cars on all morning inbound and evening outbound rush-hour trains Monday - Friday. The cars are designed to give riders a space free of some common nuisances such as cellphone calls, loud headphones and loud conversations. On all lines except the Metra Electric Line, the Quiet Cars are the second car from the locomotive and the second car from the other end of the train on rush-hour trains with six or more cars. If there are five cars or fewer on the train, only the second car from the engine is a Quiet Car. On the Metra Electric Line, only the third car from the south end of the train is a Quiet Car. There are no Quiet Cars on two-car trains. All Quiet Cars are identified with decals on outside of the car and signage inside the car. The rules are simple: No cell phone calls. If passengers must answer their phones, they should make it brief or move to the vestibule or another car. Conversations are discouraged; if they must be held they should be short and in subdued voices. All electronic devices must be muted, and headphones should not be loud enough for anyone else to hear. Quiet Cars are in effect on all inbound trains arriving downtown at or before 9 a.m. and all outbound trains leaving downtown between 3:30 p.m. and 6:30 p.m, Monday - Friday. Click here to see the Quiet Car brochure. Metra expects Quiet Cars to be largely enforced by peer pressure and conductor intervention when necessary. Many riders said that having a rule in place empowered them to ask noisy people to be quiet or move. Conductors carry small notices that they can discreetly present to passengers who are violating the quiet car rules. Metra hopes all passengers will remember to treat their fellow passengers with courtesy and respect, no matter where they are sitting."
As I was leaving the train one of the women said "won't miss you" as I walked past. At this point I was so hopped up I had to turn around and confront that. I'm sure I made things worse. All I was trying to do was point out that they were being disrespectful in ignoring the rules of the quiet car. Her parting shot to me was that I should "get a life". How is it that adult women can behave like such insolent teenagers. Get a life? Really? That was my problem - I had no idea! Then the next set of women had something to say to me. Did I understand what quiet even meant? Yes, I did, but according to the rules established by Metra these women did not.
Could I have handled things differently. Of course. Should I have? Maybe. I will take responsibility for my actions, but that doesn't mean I was wrong to have informed them. When I got off the train the tears were already threatening to unleash themselves. It was so hard for me to say anything in the first place. Then to be treated with such hatred was hard. After a bout of ugly tears I decided something. I can work on my approach, but in the end I'm still the asshole no matter what I do. If I don't say anything I stay anxious over being annoyed that I'm in the quiet car and people are being disrespectful. If I say something (no matter how nicely) I'm the asshole for saying something. Now, I know that the people who are talking are not regular train riders. I get that. But just because you're only taking the train today doesn't mean you aren't subject to the same rules as regular riders.
